In any type of relationship we share with anyone we will always learn something, for better or for worse. Whether or not we'd like to admit it, every signle person we let into our lives will leave some sort of effect on us. Knowing this, wouldn't you think we'd be somewhat cautious of who we let down our barriors for?
People always say, "Your friends make you who you are," and although I'd like to pretend this statement is false, I know much too well how true this really is..
Regret is a waste of time, you can't change the past..you can however learn from it and let experiences shape your future to how you'd want it to be. This is exactly what I have tried to do. I'm not saying that anything I've done in my life is acceptable, but the past is the past and the future is all I can look forward to..
A few years back I always thought to myself, this is what life has in store for me, and that was all I knew.. the life that I had at that moment, I never thought about the future or even the next day to be honest.. I only thought about the here & now, and at that moment I never even thought of my actions or how they would hurt me..
Now, with every decision I make I can't help but think for days about it, maybe this is part of "growing up?", or maybe it is me realizing that every action, every relationship I hold, every situation I put myself into, will affect my life in some way and do I want to put everything on the line for this one moment?
As of lately I have made so many life changing decisions, and to some these seem very drastic..but I've had to, I've had to shape my life into exactly what I want it to be, with people I know will support and push me forward rather than hold me back.
Those who I have kept in my life know how much they mean to me, because they are of few.. They are people that I know I can trust and lean on in times of need, they have been put in my life, and stayed for a reason.. I know I am not a very expressive person by nature, but I really do appreciate the relationships I hold close in the here & now..
My life as of now..is the real thing.