Every now and then I think to myself, is this where I want to be? I've never contemplated too hard until the last short while when I've made so many life changing decisions and can actually say that I am completely content with where life has led me at this point.
I'm sure a lot of you know of these decisions that I've made, and i'm sure some of you are not happy with me or my actions at all..
I've always lived my life for other people, I care too much about those that are close to me and I'd break my own freakin back to see them happy, knowing well enough that most of them would not give do the same in return..
Then one day I was actually given an assignment in my prof. dev. class to write my "vision" and I said to myself that I was going to take this assignment seriously and think long and hard about why I even chose to go into my career and where I wanted things to lead me. I ended up thinking about a lot more than just massage school.. I thought about my career as a teacher, about the relationship that I had been in for soo long and where I eventually wanted things to lead me. I realized that nothing was going how I wanted it to, and the life that I had talked about wasn't even what I was looking for anymore.
If only I hadn't had to hurt some people along the way, that would be my own regret in this process.. I had been in this relationship that I wasn't content with for such a long time. It really was a hard process to go through, even if I didn't show it. I had once felt "in love", I had once wanted all of those things that we talked & shared dreams of. & when it came to thinking of that life I suddenly realized I just didn't feel that way anymore. I talked to so many people about my decision before I did so. There were people who completely backed me up & there were people that tried to talk me into staying with him even though I clearly wasn't happy at all. I wish it could have gone down differently, but it has led me to where I am now and at the end of the day..to me my happiness needs to be the most important part of my life. If I can't be completely happy, how on earth am I supposed to make someone else happy for the rest of my life?
I really am grateful for my friends that have stood behind me in this process, a few days ago one of my best friends, taylor said to me that she could really see that I was happy. You can see it in my face, you can tell when I speak to you, my entire outlook on life has completely changed with just a few decisions and changes in my life. I truly am a happy person now.
I liked where i'm livin, & i like what i do..
I like what i'm seein when i'm lookin at youu.
I said I like what i'm sayin when I open my face..
I think I got the right feelin
I'm in the right place.