May 26, 2010

the bliss.

As the school year is ending, I think back to a few years ago when I was graduating high school.. my life was completely different, I was a complete different person, in fact I could have never imagined my life ending up being the way that it is.

If I could describe myself back when I was in high school.. I would say I was troubled, incomplete, and most of all lost. I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted to be. I didn't live at home, I lived with my ex and his family. I didn't have any relationship with my family whatsoever. I was confused about everything, I had no idea what "life" really was.

If I could describe myself now I would say I am just about the opposite of all of that. I feel complete for once, and not just because I feel like I've found my soulmate, but because I feel like I can make myself happy, instead of relying on others. I have a wonderful relationship with my family now, they are the people that I go to. I feel whole, I feel like if I set out to do anything I would conquer it, I feel like I know where I am headed, I can see the next few months, say even years, whereas before I couldn't even see ahead to the next day.

That's when you really know that you've found yourself when you can see the future, you know what you want, where you want to be, and you set out a path to get th
ere.

High school was both the best and worst years of my life, I can't say that I was ever truly happy though. I relied on others, drugs, and boyfriends to make me happy, I'm lucky that I got out of high school alive, I realize that all of those trials got me to where I am today and without those experiences I wouldn't know that that is not what I want in my life..but it sure sucks that nobody sat me down and told me that I didn't need any of that to be happy. I just needed to find myself.

Picture from the day that I graduated..


I remember the day that I graduated high school like it was yesterday. It had to
have been one of the happiest moments of my life. I always thought that graduating high school was just one of things that happened, you go to school your whole life..of course you would graduate, but I wasn't always the best student. I, like every other teenager, had to rebel. All my parents wanted me to do was go to school, get decent grades, and stay out of huge trouble. I decided I would do the opposite. So the day that I graduated high school was one of the proudest moments, I'm sure for my parents as well, but for me. I worked so hard the last few months of school to be able to receive my diploma and walk though the big A. And at the end of it all it was so worth it to make my dad cry (kidding, but it was very sentimental to see tears in my dads eyes). I swear I smiled that entire week just because I graduated.

1 comment:

  1. Experience is the best teacher. :) Right now my future looks a little vague when I try to see it, but I'm sketching some ideas. ;) I'm so happy for you and so so proud of you. What a woman you have become. =) I love you so much. How much I love you, Elise, and Mckay is what made me realize how much I do want to be a mother. I'll be lucky if get children that are such sweethearts as you three. :)

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