Anyone who knows me knows I love babies & kids. I'm always the baby hog at every event. I've always been that way. I started babysitting when I was 8 (my baby brother) & continued to babysit for neighbors & still love babysitting for family & such when life isn't too crazy. All my life I've wanted to be a mom & still really can't wait for that opportunity.
But I get really annoyed when people ask when I'm gonna have a baby.. like REALLY annoyed.
Living in Utah..especially Utah County it is extremely strange to be over the age of 20 & not have a baby attached to your hip. I know at least 15 people at all times who are pregnant (& I am SO happy for them, this is not about being jealous at all!) So the fact that we are 23, working full time & Kevin is in school full time & we aren't juggling a baby or 2 (some of my friends my age..have 3 kids..) is just mind boggling for people.
I think I get asked at least once a day when I'm going to have a baby..
So I thought to save everyone the glaring look they will get when they ask me when I am going to FINALLY have a baby.. I'd just let the world know..
When we have a baby, is when we're gonna have a baby.
I will let ya know on that one the moment of conception.
Oh.. in a few years.
UMMM not for awhile.
Well..we are really trying to buy a house right now, so probably after that?
Or.. if it's that time of the month.. I DON'T WANT A BABY EVER.
But then I see a baby & come home & tell Kevin we need one right now.
Mostly I just want to say.. none of your business?
I honestly feel like having a baby is such a personal decision. No, we haven't tried..& no, we're not having "trouble".. if we were I still wouldn't like to tell people, even family. So until we announce we're pregnant, please stop the presses.
I'm just enjoying sleeping in until noon with my cute husband for the time being.
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I sooo understand how you feel. I've had some people be so rude to me over the past 10 years. "Do you two know how to get pregnant? hahaha" -_- "Well, all married couples are just newlyweds until they have kids." "You know, you could afford to have a baby if you weren't buying name brand cereal." (Actually had a friend sitting in my kitchen say that one.) I've been called selfish a LOT. "It would serve her right if John died in Afghanistan and left her childless," was apparently a conversation two of my "friends" had about me and my "selfishness", though both claimed the other said it... Not really friends anymore. lol
ReplyDeleteI've also been asked if we're "trying" which was one of the most annoying moments of my life. Friends have cried and told me how happy they are as parents and they want me to be happy, too. And I'm happy they are happy, and glad they want good things for me. But, there isn't just one way to be happy.
At first, we just didn't feel like we were ready. And then last year while John was in Afghanistan, my OBGYN told me I would need to do fertility treatments to have a baby and that we could try different methods and see how that goes.
I feel very similar to how you feel. Sometimes I want a baby so much. So so much. And then other times I don't know if I ever do. (And, as I am reminded often from varying and surprising sources, I don't have as much time now. Yeah, that's a fun one to get from people. That started when I was 25.) You are right, it's such a personal decision. For some people it is just an understood matter of course. But they need to also understand that it isn't that way for everyone. In Utah Valley... people assume a lot of things and for some reason think they can cross certain lines that doesn't mesh with the way the rest of society functions. Since I've left Utah, I'll occasionally be asked if we have any children and I'll tell them no but we have cats. No one ever asks me why, though. That would be obviously unmannerly here. I have had people assume I have kids once or twice here, though - John's Sgt. told us we should "put Miles down" and focus on our kids. Until John told her we can't have kids and she felt like shit about it. We could have gotten her in trouble for that, but we didn't.
It's also a little weird being in the South because some of the states here are trying to outlaw in vitro fertilization (IVF) which would be an expensive but probably the most promising path for us to be able to have a child. (My dear friend has the same things wrong with her body and after trying the pills and artificial insemination and everything else was able to have twins through IVF.) Apparently, some people think that's playing god. As an atheist, I look forward to someday leaving the South. lol
The main reason I think it is the way it is in Utah Valley is because most people there are used to everyone else being the same as them.
So, I applaud you. You have so much time. I've loved having time just Johnny and me. And a child will change everything for the rest of life. It's a wonderful thing, but a lot of responsibility. And, hey, I'm 31 with no children now and it's usually the same people that ask those things now that did after we'd been married a month. lol They were the ones that pressured John and I to get married sooner. They'd probably be the ones asking when we're having our next kid. lol If and when you do, I'll be happy for you. In the meantime, I say, enjoy your life and I love you. =)
Good for you! It is REALLY annoying getting asked that. I lived in Utah for 5 years before I got married and that was mind blowing to people. And the fact that we didn't have a honeymoon baby was almost unheard of haha. I don't know why people feel the need to get in your business so much! That's the good thing about not living in Utah anymore!
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